I’m getting tired of people calling me a “purist” or a “nostalgia whore” for being sick to death of the changes being made to the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, especially lately. Alright look, I know that there have been reboots and retellings of many stories before. However, I also understand the difference between a reboot and a system crash. What has happened is clearly a system crash. Most reboots respectful to the source material and original dynamic, and are usually not restrained by a bunch of corporate back-seat driving. Well, except for the ones that horribly suck.
I’ll give you an example of a franchise that is so old its public domain now, and has been successfully rebooted many times. I’ll give you a clue to what it is.
No one would have believed that in the last years in the 19th century that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could have dreamed were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even consider the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes. And slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us.
If you’re thinking along the line of H.G. Wells, you are thinking correctly. The War of the Worlds is the first science fiction story where an alien invasion takes place. The invaders from mars came from these 30-yard long cylinders launched from this canon-type launch pad with a brightly glowing green exhaust trail behind them. That description sounds very similar to how we define a rocket today. Probably it used the launch pad cannon as a first stage and then used electric rockets to accelerate it along the journey from mars to earth. Keep in mind this was written before even the Wright Brothers had their first flight at Kitty Hawk in 1903. But how could anything survive that kind of an impact? I guess wells assumed that those cylinders were made of materials far superior to ours and had impressive beyond this world shock absorbers.
It was also the first science fiction story to feature what we now refer to as energy weaponry. They were referred to as “heat rays” that could “cut through stone as though it were paper”. No bullets or shells, just pure energy, or a bunch of highly charged particles accelerated to a high speed. It is a type of weaponry so common in science fiction that one day it may even exist. In fact, one already does the laser. There are several types of lasers that operate on various wavelengths, but this one is invisible because it is of a lower frequency than visible light, in the area of heat. There has been a lot of research into laser technology over the decades since it was discovered but those were usually bulky Oxygen-Iodine chemical lasers. We now have advanced to using lighter, more efficient, more compact, and more powerful solid-state free-electron lasers. The other type of weapon, known as the particle canon, still has some ways to go. However, the first serious attempt to design such a weapon was undertaken by Nikola Tesla. He called it the death ray, and it was meant to be the ultimate anti-aircraft artillery able to slice through airplanes from miles away.
Also, it was the first science fiction story featuring the use of mechanical walking machine, or mechanical walkers, or “mechs” as they would be known as in later decades. Here they are referred to as “fighting machines, giant machines that walked”. When the first cylinder “landed” (more like crashed) in Primrose Hill, the lid was slowly rotating, unscrewing. The Martian revealed itself to the onlookers, with its black saucer-like eyes, lipless v-shaped mouth, snake-like tentacles that quivered like wet leather for limbs, all attached to a heaving and pulsating mass larger than a bear, only to then bring out the heat ray and either drive the people back or vaporize them. Since then the creatures inside were working on something. During that time a bunch of soldiers gathered around the cylinder and formed a cordon as well as defensive positions to fight against any further actions. But when the Martians inside were done, a tri-pod set of legs emerged supporting a hood carrying the Martians with the heat-ray mounted to it. The heat-ray was now a mobile threat, and swept through all resistance. Even before its completion there were other cylinders that “landed” (again, crashed) all over England, including London. But think about that. They waited until AFTER they “landed” (CRASHED!) to begin building the fighting machines? From a tactical standpoint, that does not seem wise. Why not complete the fighting machine BEFORE loading it into the cylinder and launching it at Earth?
Well, as the story progresses, our main character is informed of what has happened by a young artilleryman saying that the fighting machines wiped out his entire unit. Upon learning that one of the cylinders crashed in London, he immediately decided to go to London to warn his wife of the danger. But when he arrived, the fighting machines were already there. What is described next seems so surreal that you wonder if H.G. Wells actually witnessed something like this himself.
“…more and more people joined the painful exodus. Sad, weary women, their children stumbling in the street with tears, their men bitter and angry, the rich rubbing shoulders with beggars and outcasts, dogs snarled and whined, the horse’s bits covered with foam, and here and there were wounded soldiers as helpless as the rest… never before in the history of the world had such a mass of human beings moved and suffered together. This was no disciplined march; it was a stampede, without order and without a goal. Six million people, unarmed and un-provisioned, driving headlong. It was the beginning of the route of civilization, of the massacre of mankind.”
………. I’m almost speechless. The scene reminds me of the footage I’ve seen during the 9/11 attacks. All those people running and screaming from those towers as they were collapsing, being consumed by its own cloud of black dust, some of which was even human remains.
Well, during the chaos and panic, people were running to the safety of a boat trying to evacuate people to safety. Our main character sees his wife right as the boat is full and loading ramp is lifted. And as it was moving away the fighting machines drew closer and closer still. Right at that moment, the H.M.S. Thunderchild bravely approached. It opened fire taking out at least one of the fighting machines. Just when the stranded people thought they were saved all the other fighting machines raised their heat rays vaporized the Thunderchild’s hull, sending the ship to the bottom. At that same moment more and more green flashes from more cylinders came from the sky. It now seemed that nothing could stop the Martian invaders.
Afterwards the main character saw that Earth didn’t look like Earth anymore. The landscape was covered by a red weed that also gave Mars its red appearance. It became clear that the invaders were trying to make Earth more like their own planet. At this point our main character notices a Preacher, that at first believes he is dead, but is in fact alive. He notices the destruction around him and believes this is the end times. He is so delirious even he believes his wife is one of the demons that have invited the devil. Just then a cylinder crashes on the cottage they are all hiding in, killing her. Soon our main character notices how the Martians are creating the red weed, by draining people’s blood. At this moment the Preacher is utterly convinced that he has been sent by God to destroy these ‘demons’. As our main character tries to fight the commotion the noise attracts the attention of one of the Martians and somehow the Preacher gets knocked out. As our main character tries to hide the both of them the Preacher gets noticed. As he is being dragged away there was nothing our main character could do, he would have just had his blood drained as well.
At this time for some reason, all the Martians just seemed to leave the area, leaving the main character of focus able to leave the cottage and explore the area. There was not a Martian in sight, so he decided to wonder back to London and explore a little. On his way back he found the artilleryman from earlier. He had developed a plan to rebuild human civilization underground to hide and one day fight back on a more even footing. But after a few conversations with the artilleryman our main character believes this plan is just too good to be true and will not work. So he left and wondered around further.
As he was drifting around in London, noticing the death, destruction, and the looting, he wondered if there was anything left to live for. As he grew tired, hungry, and lonely, he felt as though the Martians were calling to him. The call kept getting louder and louder as he kept getting closer; until he was so close they just stopped. He then noticed a fighting machine, completely motionless, then another just the same, and then a third one right in front of him. He believed he was discovered and this was the end. Out of stamina and will, and with no options left, he simply surrendered himself to whatever horrible fate awaited him. And yet nothing happened. He looked up at the hood of the fighting machine and noticed that the hood was shattered, with red shreds sticking out that was being fed upon by black birds. After all the technology of the earth failed to defeat the Martians in combat, they were all killed by a bacterial infection.
So, that was the interpretation by H.G. Wells, in a nutshell. Now since then there were several reinterpretations of the classic tale. The first one since, and the most notably infamous one is the radio broadcast by Orson Wells “Mercury Theater” presentation during Halloween of 1938. Instead of taking place in England 1899, it takes place in the northeastern United States of the year of the broadcast. Instead of being read like a novel, it was read like an emergency broadcast. It begins with an astronomer explaining that are bright flashes coming from mars, a green exhaust trail is spotted, a 30 yard long cylinder crashes, the lid unscrews allowing the Martian inside takes a look around, and the heat ray is deployed to drive the crowd back. Soldiers show up to create a cordon, including the artilleryman. But this time they are not part of the British army, they are part of the Pennsylvania militia (National Guard someday). In this version, the soldiers tried to communicate through means of a white flag, but in vain. The fighting machine is constructed and the soldiers are once again helpless to stop it. More of the cylinders crash-land from the eastern seaboard to the Midwest. Instead of trying to evacuate from London by means of a steamer, people are trying to evacuate from New York City aboard a more modern boat. Instead of a battleship to fight off the fighting machines, this time it is medium bomber planes. The second act begins as our main character records the aftermath in his journal. This time there is no counterpart of a Preacher, but there was the artilleryman once again. Before meeting him again, he is hiding in an apartment complex, notices the red weed growing everywhere, notices that people’s blood is being drained, and then finds the artilleryman. The plan to rebuild utilizes the New York sewers and subway tunnels. However, our main character turns his plan down believing it favored the strong too much over the weak. And as before he finds motionless fighting machines and Martians killed off by a bacterial infection.
As we can see there are a few differences but most of everything is still the same. Now, some people tuned into the broadcast sometime after the introduction was played. Because of that fact, and because it seemed so compelling, so surreal, and so gripping, people thought it was real! It caused a nation-wide panic thinking that Martians were really invading the Earth. Other people thought it was something the Nazis built and that others did not understand but the danger was still very real. (Fitting since in later decades people believe that the Nazis built the flying saucers, go figure. After all they were up to radical aerospace experiments, including anti-gravity.) But on the night of the Halloween broadcast, Orson Wells patted himself on the back for delivering a spectacular performance, and then went home for the night completely unaware of the panic he caused. The next day he walked into the studio only to be placed under arrest for disturbing the peace, but he was soon acquitted.
Next up is the 1953 version. (Please keep in mind I have not seen the whole thing yet.) Everything starts out the same but it takes place in 1953 in either the west coast or the Midwest (I can’t quite remember). There is the objects being launched from mars, but instead of looking like a cylinder, the container looks more like a meteorite, until a hatch opens. A few idiots thinking they can communicate use a white flag trying to communicate. Extending from the hatch is a structure shaped like a modern street light, and mounted on top is the deadly heat ray that vaporized all of them. This time the fighting machines are not mechanical tripods, but instead hovering pods that just defied gravity with the street-lamp shaped structure that held the heat-ray. I don’t know if they have the artilleryman or not, but the Preacher actually gets killed pretty early this time. He tries to establish a more peaceful communication. As he walks towards them he recites the part of the Bible that goes “As I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil for the Lord is with me.” Unfortunately the brave man does not last very long. Since 1899 weapon systems have become deadlier and more accurate, but the Martians still pose a threat because this time their fighting machines are protected by “shields”, a regenerating barrier of pure energy that renders any firepower used against it useless. Just like energy weaponry, it is a concept so common in science fiction it may be common someday. In fact in 1995 an “energy window” was demonstrated. Sure, the effect was only one inch wide and required lots of power (plus it was hot enough to burn your fingers), but it proved that the idea could work. Finally the ending is the same; the Martians die because of a bacterial infection. The film as awarded as having the best special effects of the year.
Then by 1978 Jeff Wayne released his musical telling of the H.G. Wells classic which took place in England, 1899. Many people consider this to be THE soundtrack of the original story, especially since as part of the music every now and then excerpts are voice-acted by several narrators as characters in the novel itself. I’ll place a link in the description. More recently a “New Generation” edition was created with less of a disco feel and more of an electric feel. I’ll also put a link in the description to this as well.
Finally there is the 2005 version directed by Steven Spielberg and the main character cast as Tom Cruise, also there is narration by Morgan Freeman. Again, this version takes place in the year it was released along the American west coast. This time the aliens do not come from Mars. In fact, it is not revealed where they come from. In 1964, the NASA Mariner 1 Mars orbiter took pictured of the surface of the red planet, and revealed that there are no civilizations and those ‘rivers’ are just the effects of erosion when Mars still had liquid water on the surface. Also a lot of other scientific inaccuracies were corrected since the days of H.G. Wells. There are no cylinders or meteorite casings. Instead a bizarre lightning bolt that if you look at in slow motion very closely you can notice a shard-shaped object traveling within the bolt straight into the ground. Shortly after something “materializes” underground, and as the ground shakes opens what rises out of the opening is nothing other than a tripod-mounted fighting machine. It smart this time because it takes almost no time to build and is ready to go, giving the humans no time to destroy the fighting machine while it is still under construction. The three legs, although still mechanical, look like tentacles instead of mounted stilts. However, just like in the 1953 version these fighting machines are protected by regenerative energy shielding. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that mounted on the fighting machines are a twin set of arms each one with its own heat-ray.
As before people run and scream as they panic trying to flee the cities, the heat rays cut people to shreds, the people try to evacuate by boat as the fighting machines approach from behind, and the military tries to fight but in vain. This time the Preacher and the artilleryman have been merged into one character. He seems like the conspiracy theory survivalist type who feels almost like he can take on the aliens all by himself. He plans to create an effort to create underground tunnels to emerge from the ground just as the fighting machines did. As everyone is hiding in the barn house, we notice that once again the aliens are draining people’s blood to create the red weed that is everywhere. Eventually the aliens get curios and look inside the house. As the would-be vigilante readies to strike with a hatchet at the snake-like mechanical arm with a heat ray for a head, begs him not to strike and to stay hidden. Eventually the guy hiding in the house looses it and keeps digging and digging. Because he was making so much noise, in order to remain hidden, our main character decides to kill him. Later he notices a fighting machine, motionless, and the shields are down because black birds are sitting on it. Curious people draw near, and a soldier opens a hatch on one of the fighting machines causing a dead alien to flop out, killed by a bacterial infection.
So, as we can see here despite numerous reboots the story still has the same dynamic every time. Sure there are some differences, but only in such a way to make things interesting. Unfortunately the same thing cannot be said about Sonic the Hedgehog. I’ll explain.
In the beginning we just had the games. Sonic just smashed his way through robots that were built by Robotnik, sorry, EGGMAN (I hate that name) as he collects the emeralds and wins in the end. It was interesting at first but there were so many questions. Such is who is Sonic? Where did he come from? Why does he do what he does? Due to the limitations of the 16-bit era nothing of a story could be told, other than the fact that SEGA wanted something to compete with Mario.
About two years after the first release, there were two television shows based upon him. One was basically Sonic’s counterpart of the Looney Tunes so I won’t get into that. The other was far more serious and had a comic book series based upon that is still (somewhat) running to this day. It felt like a cross between Star Wars, Bladerunner, Terminator, and Metropolis. There was a nuclear war the destabilized the genetic structure of life on earth, causing it to create cross-species. This eventually caused much of the wildlife of earth to evolve into anthropomorphic beings known as “Mobians”. Because of that, Earth is now referred to as “Mobius”. Sonic’s parents were fighting the Great War against the future humans, “Overlanders” who were determined to wipe them and their people out, probably because they were not considered to be equal. At the same time, Sonic’s uncle was working on a nanotechnology based apparatus that could create mechanical or synthetic replacements from its living counterpart called the roboticizer. It was intended to help people heal from injuries faster and for the elderly to live longer. When all of this was going on an Overlander defector by the name of Julian defected to the Mobians and offered his services to King Acorn himself, offering to help him win the war. He constructed a mighty robot army to fight back.
However, when the war was over, instead of dismantling the army of robots, he turned them against the people he protected. It was at this moment he went from being known as Julian to being known as Robotnik. He then used the roboticizer to make anyone he captured his slave, including Sonic’s family. So he, along with a few of his friends, the Princess included, managed to escape to a hidden village known as “Knothole”. Ten years since the Acorn Princess leads a small group of freedom fighters are fighting a guerilla war to liberate their world from the one who had taken it from them. This involved a lot of tactics using infiltrations, secretly planting explosives, sabotage, computer hacking, and Sonic running around distracting security. And also, because of all the madness, Sonic and the Acorn Princess grew close, as in beyond friends close.
Unfortunately the third season was cancelled, but at least a comic book series is based upon it that is in the Guiness Book of world records longest running comic series based upon a video game series. (20 years.) However, the writers of the COMIC were not as good as the writers of the SHOW, even though they made several nice additions that made Mobius a more diverse place.
Then the series Sonic Underground was released, which did have some of the dynamic of the series it is clearly LOOSELY based upon. But this time instead of falling in love with royalty, he IS royalty. Plus we have a few new characters, but a LOT of other ones are missing. Sure they are fighting against Robotnik to regain their kingdom but to do this they use musical instruments that emit weaponized sound waves? What is this, Skyrim? FUS-RO-DA!
Then came the Sonic Adventure series, which really got me into the Sonic franchise. However, I noticed that there several things from my previous memories of Sonic at the time were just not there. I shrugged it off at the time but I now realize what a mistake it was. Sure it was interesting to see the fall of the Echidna Empire and the Chaos monster-god. It was also interesting to see Shadow and his back-story. But why couldn’t they use the other stuff I mentioned earlier? It would have made Sonic Adventure a far richer experience. Well the reason why is because SEGA of Japan is extremely Jealous of SEGA of America, and before Sonic Adventure was released SEGA of Japan boasted about how they had ‘liberated’ Sonic from ‘those American bastards’ (questionable translation).
Then came SonicX, which reminds me of Michael Bay movies. Basically Sonic starts out in his world, which we are given NO explanation of whatsoever, not even the NAME of his world. We might as well call it Pottersville at this point. Then because of an accident involving the chaos emeralds, he is sent into OUR world. And basically it follows the games TOO closely, as in there isn’t a lot of extra stuff of interest. Basically rob, sorry, EGGMAN (I hate that name) selects a robot from what looks like a slot machine. A robot then attacks the city Godzilla style and Sonic stops it, following the Power Rangers formula. Some of these bad guys seem intimidating, barely, and some of them are just silly while expecting you to take it serious. Plus there are too many things that “just happen” that make no sense. There is little character development, no back story, and no explanation. Arguably the biggest failing of this series is that most of the time it feels like it is a fan fiction written by a Sonic fanboy who is actually named Chris Thorndyke where the story primarily revolves around HIM and that Sonic and some related characters just happen to be in there.
Then SEGA released the game ‘Sonic Next Generation’ in 2006 which nearly destroyed the franchise. It was meant to reboot the Sonic games but the result was a major system crash. The story was pretty clichéd and flat. The controls made the game play frustrating to no end. The reviewers hated this game. Maybe the worst part about it is when the previews came out it looks like it was so awesome and this would actually be GOOD, but it turned out to be the exact opposite. Even if it wasn’t rushed it wouldn’t be that great of a game. And yes, Sonic falls in love with a Princess, but instead of being Sonic’s REAL woman, SEGA of Japan yanked the chain and said no, so they created the character Elise instead.
Ever since then they kept releasing games that seemed like they just weren’t trying anymore. All the fanboys keep saying that the games are THE cannon, but honestly, this is a cannon like a bunch of dissembled parts are a car. Anything can happen in a game but it will have NO effect on the games that are released later on. Basically Sonic has his “I’m on top of the world” moment, Eggman has his “I’m trying to take over the world” moment, Tails has his “Sidekick” moment, Shadow has his “emo” moment, Amy has her “fangirl” moment, and so on and so on. Things to dress up how the story is just Sonic smashing robots and collecting emeralds to defeat Eggman. That’s all it is now, not a true dynamic, but just a one sentence explanation. Just some shameless marketing tool to compete with Mario bet he can’t even do that anymore. Sure they try to dress it up but they’re doing it in such a way that makes M. Night Shamalyan look like Stanley Kubrick. And are they using any of the dynamic or the characters from the series or the comic based upon it that gave it meaning for the first time? No, because they believe that not enough people know about them (even though it’s their fault), and yet insist on adding characters that have NEVER existed before! And yet when the game they show up in ends, the added characters are never mentioned again and treated like they never existed and the process begins anew. Dan Drazen was right, they ARE just throwing things against the wall to see what sticks.
And now there is Sonic Boom. At first my reaction was pretty mixed. I thought it might be good, but I refused to let my guard down based upon hard learned lessons. I was right to do so, because upon reading the synopsis of the first episodes my reaction was “OMG, this series is going to blow”. I mean it feels like it was ‘written’ by monkeys throwing darts at a dart board with notes attached to it! But I realize now that maybe it isn’t the fault of the writers. The people who are writing this show are the same writers from South Park, The Simpsons, and even My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. These are GOOD writers, and yet these stories are anything but! Maybe this has to do with how SEGA, especially SEGA of Japan keeps yanking the chain, insisting how Sonic should just be smashing robots and collecting the chaos emeralds to defeat Eggman in the end. As a result, anyone who writes for them is on a leash so tight they can’t even breathe.
Speaking of which, the Sonic comics, which preserved the western elements of Sonic as well as, in part, his true potential, has been ‘rebooted’ as well. There are many details, but in a nutshell, Ken Penders demanded royalties for ‘his’ content, Archie Comics Publications said his contract that he signed said they didn’t owe him squat, he demanded to see the original copy but was lost in a document fire in 1996, a large legal battle resulted, SEGA once again yanked the chain, and Sonic has been ‘rebooted’ after a Sonic/Megaman crossover. Doesn’t that just sound lovely? And now all those additions that made Sonic’s world more diverse than the games, 20 years of writing, lore, back story, characters, character development, just ……..gone. Sure there may be some things left but for the most part they lost what made them so special. Plus many of these characters have atrocious new designs that are way too easy to recolor, initially intending to be the result of mutilating the characters that have been mostly ignored outside the comics. And don’t tell me in this ‘new universe’ that Eggman never caused the redesigns because guess who caused the super genesis-wave?
So now maybe you can understand why this is clearly NOT like reboots of other franchises. Those reboots maintain the same dynamic while making minor adjustments allowing the story to evolve through the years. But decay is not a form of evolution, and SEGA did not keep the dynamic, they threw it out the window. And yet in their minds they believe this is a good idea. Their logic is that ‘The more ambiguous Sonic is the more people it shall appeal to allowing them to fill in the holes.’ What are these people smoking? Ambiguity is not a substitute for a plot, in this way it is just laziness pretending to be artistic brilliance, and failing at it. Basically they’re trying to turn Sonic into nothing more than a second skin for the target audience, which is the same reason why Twilight is so looked down upon. Don’t believe me? Ask the Nostalgia Critic.
There is a difference between a reboot and a system crash, and every time SEGA keeps making unnecessary ‘changes’ like this, not only does it tear out another pound of flesh from Sonic’s body, it also has a meat cleaver effect on the fanbase. The less experienced fans, unaware of Sonic’s true potential, would actually enjoy the dynamic that was established early on instead of insisting that Sonic must be nothing more than him just smashing robots and collecting emeralds to defeat Eggman in the end. And by the looks of it, it seems that SEGA is trying to divide us, and replace the more experienced fans like me with corporate slaves claiming to be fans who will blindly gobble up anything that comes out of SEGA’s rectum.
Imagine what would have happened to the fans of The War of the Worlds if something like that happened to that franchise, or anything else you enjoy. I know it is a scary thought. You know what else is scary? I can hear the Martians calling in the distance.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUllllllllAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I think that’s their way of saying Happy Halloween.